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Want Wisdom? Listen to Your Body

In the last post, I wrote about how when we let ourselves feel what we feel we gain access to the most powerful part of our brain and nervous system: our intuitive, unconscious, and visceral knowledge.

A refresher: Our unconscious knowledge is shockingly powerful—and far more extensive than our conscious knowledge. Consider that our conscious brain processes information at a rate of about fifty bits per second, while our unconscious, intuitive nervous system processes information at a rate of 11 million bits per second. Fifty versus 11 million. That’s not a small differential, and it means that our unconscious minds are constantly cluing us into our experience, both internal and external, if only we pay attention.

The catch is that our intuitive knowledge system does not speak in words. It speaks to us through our bodies and through our feelings. But just because our intuition and visceral knowledge doesn’t speak to us in words doesn’t mean that it isn’t speaking to us all the time — through our bodies.

Try listening to the feedback that your body is giving you right now. Say something really untrue out loud, preferably to someone else. Try something like “I love it when my boss humiliates me in front of my team,” or “I adore having the stomach flu.” Then notice: how does your body react? The response will likely be ever so slight: a miniscule pulling back; or tensing of your jaw; or a tiny shoulder raise. When I say something that my unconscious mind hates, my body tries to tell me through a little heaviness in my stomach. If I spend too long doing something that feels wrong for me, I end up with a stomachache.

Now try saying something out loud that is true for you, and notice your body’s reaction. Try something like “I love the ocean,” or “I love the feel of my baby’s head on my cheek.” How does your body respond? When I say something that is very true for me, or when someone else says it to me, I get “chills of truth”—the hair literally stands up on my arms. And if I’m grappling with something hard, but the right answer comes up for me, I get “tears of truth.” Tears that tell me that something is profoundly true feel qualitatively different than the tears that come from grief or hurt.

What is true for us tends to make us feel stronger and more free. And lies tend to feel like constraint and constriction — our shoulders ache, our back hurts, or our stomach churns.

Join the Discussion
How did it go? How does your body react when you say something untrue? How does your body feel when you say something true? Share your reactions with the class.


This is Activity #1 from Unit 6: FEEL. It’s a part of the “Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less. Want to go on to the next class or start the course from the beginning? It’s free! Just go to The Science of Finding Flow course page. Enjoy!

Flow Class Activity: What Makes You Happy?

When was the last time you felt a strong positive emotion? Perhaps you felt really grateful, joyful. or excited.

Can you identify the circumstances and the behaviors that sparked the emotion? Perhaps you felt hopeful listening to a TED talk, or loved when your stepson spontaneously threw his arms around you.

Finally, figure out how to make that situation happen again, and–here’s the trick—schedule it. I know that this might sound a little hoaky… scheduling happiness sounds a little like scheduling sex (which is not-so-sexy). But while research shows that trying to be happier tends to backfire, consistently scheduling activities that have made us happy in the past will likely make us feel happier in the future. (How’s that for the science of the blazingly obvious?)

So whip out your calendar, please, and start planning your time around activities that bring you joy. Or inspiration. Or compassion — whatever flavor of positive emotion is lowest hanging fruit for you. Researchers call this activity “prioritizing positivity,” and it’s best done as a way to prioritize those daily activities you most enjoy.

Not sure where your low hanging fruit is? This post provides several research-based suggestions for finding your bliss.


This post is from a series about flourishing from the “Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing LessWant to go on to the next class or start the course from the beginning? It’s free! Just go to The Science of Finding Flow course page. Enjoy!

Performance Tip: Swap Stress for Courage

There you are, freaking out in front of your colleagues when you should be calmly giving a presentation. Or you’re sweating bullets in the ER, waiting for the doctor to bring you news about your daughter’s high fever. You know that descending into a full-blown fight-or-flight response is not going to help you here, and it’s just going to drain you, but what can you do?

Amazingly, we can actually shift our physiological stress response from “I’m freaking out right now” to “I’m facing a challenge right now.” When we do this, we actually prevent the deleterious effects of a fight-or-flight response.

Our bodies and minds are tightly linked. When we use our minds to “reappraise our stress response,” as scientists call it, from stress to challenge, we can actually change the typical physiological response itself from a stress response to a challenge response.

In a typical stress response, our heart rate elevates and our blood vessels constrict, which increases our blood pressure and decreases the efficiency of our heart. Anticipating defeat, our heart protects the cardiovascular system by contracting. In a challenge (or courage) response, the heart rate elevates but the blood vessels don’t constrict, which increases the efficiency of our cardiovascular system. Researchers have found that when people reframe the meaning of their physiological response to stress as something that is improving their performance, they feel more confident and less anxious. Moreover, their physical response to the stress actually changes from one that is damaging to one that is helpful.

How does this work? Through our emotions. When we are afraid, we trigger a physiological response, which is more often than not unhelpful and damaging. When we are courageous, we trigger a different, more constructive, response.

So sometimes the easiest thing in a difficult situation is to see our physical response as a sign that we are engaged and our body is helping us meet the challenge. Our heart is pumping more blood-sugar and oxygen to our muscles and brain so that we can respond more quickly.

Take Action
Practice swapping stress for courage now by planning for the next time you’re likely to get a little stressed out. What will you say to yourself?

Now, imagine yourself in that situation, and visualize yourself using the courage response.


This post is taken from “The Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less. I’m sharing “lessons” from this online class here, on my blog. Want to see previous posts? Just click this The Science of Finding Flow tag. Enjoy!

Quick Happiness Tip: Foster Curiosity

What are you curious about? What have you been meaning to look up? What is really interesting to you these days? Go ahead, Google it! Read that article of interest. Curiosity is a powerful positive emotion.

Fostering interest comes with a great bonus prize, too: It replenishes your energy. A series of studies show that experiencing interest, or working on an interesting task (even if it is hard), energizes people for the current task and for whatever they work on next.


This post is taken from “The Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less. I’m sharing “lessons” from this online class here, on my blog. Want to see previous posts? Just click this The Science of Finding Flow tag. Enjoy!

Flow Class Activity: Do Nothing. (Really…NOTHING.)

If we want to be high-functioning and happy, we need to re-learn how to do nothing. When we feel like there isn’t enough time in the day for us to get everything done, when we wish for more time… we don’t actually need more time. We need more stillness. Stillness to recharge. Stillness so that we can feel whatever it is that we feel. Stillness so that we can actually enjoy this life that we are living. Stillness so that we can access our visceral knowledge, so that our brain can generate creative insights.

(I know you probably thought you were done with the strategic slacking unit, but…it’s baaaa-ack. Slacking is critical for accessing our visceral knowledge system, too.)

Here’s what you need to do in order to experience that stillness:

Nothing.

Well, not nothing: Keep breathing. Even if you are dying to get to the next unit, don’t go there yet. Take 20 minutes to unplug entirely: turn off computers and phones and anything that might alert you to an incoming communication. (As I hope you learned in Unit 3: DETOX, the world will not stop spinning if you disconnect for 20 minutes, but your head might.)

Sit in a comfortable position, or lie down. Now: Do nothing. Stare into space. If you start feeling bored or antsy, that’s normal. Just notice what you are feeling. If you start feeling sleepy, that’s okay; just notice if you are starting to fall asleep. Don’t judge yourself.

The good news is that by letting yourself get a little bored each day, or taking a breather to just be, without also doing anything, you open space for creativity and all your intuitive wisdom.

Join the Discussion

How did you feel when you tried this? Were you able to unplug for a full 20 minutes? What made it hard — or what made it easy?


This post is from a series about authenticity from the “Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing LessWant to go on to the next class or start the course from the beginning? It’s free! Just go to The Science of Finding Flow course page. Enjoy!

Activity #1: Listen to Your Body

Just because our intuition and visceral knowledge doesn’t speak to us in words doesn’t mean that it isn’t speaking to us all the time — through our bodies.

Try listening to the feedback that your body is giving you right now. Say something really untrue out loud, preferably to someone else. Try something like “I love it when my boss humiliates me in front of my team,” or “I adore having the stomach flu.” Then notice: how does your body react? The response will likely be ever so slight: a miniscule pulling back; or tensing of your jaw; or a tiny shoulder raise. When I say something that my unconscious mind hates, my body tries to tell me through a little heaviness in my stomach. If I spend too long doing something that feels wrong for me, I end up with a stomachache.

Now try saying something out loud that is true for you, and notice your body’s reaction. Try something like “I love the ocean,” or “I love the feel of my baby’s head on my cheek.” How does your body respond? When I say something that is very true for me, or when someone else says it to me, I get “chills of truth”—the hair literally stands up on my arms. And if I’m grappling with something hard, but the right answer comes up for me, I get “tears of truth.” Tears that tell me that something is profoundly true feel qualitatively different than the tears that come from grief or hurt.

What is true for us tends to make us feel stronger and more free. And lies tend to feel like constraint and constriction — our shoulders ache, our back hurts, or our stomach churns.

Join the Discussion
How did it go? How does your body react when you say something untrue? How does your body feel when you say something true? Share your reactions with the class.


This post is taken from “The Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less. I’m sharing one “lesson” from this online class per week here, on my blog. Want to see previous posts? Just click this The Science of Finding Flow tag. Enjoy!

Finding Inspiration and Awe

In our rigorous pursuit of happiness, we often forget that inspiration—along with its cousins elevation and awe—are positive emotions that make us feel more content, joyful, and satisfied with our lives. YouTube and Facebook are nearly endless sources of videos that have the potential to move and inspire us (and, I know, also ones that don’t). For example, I made this video to inspire people to pursue the things that really make us happy.  Similarly, the walls in my office, bedroom, and kitchen are covered in quotations and poems that inspire me. (Called “Thursday Thoughts;” they, too, are posted on my blog.)

Awe comes with a wonderful bonus: It can make you feel less pressed for time and less impatient. Since time pressure and impatience can make your ratio of positive to negative emotions go in the wrong direction, it seems that there is always a two-for-one special running in the awe department.

You can awe yourself with a grand landscape or by reading about a mind-expanding theory or by contemplating something that changes the way you think about the world. Researchers induce awe in volunteers fairly simply by showing them video clips of people facing awesome things like waterfalls and whales or by having them write about something that was vast and altered their perception of the world.

Once you find sources of inspiration and awe, connect to them regularly. Again, one size doesn’t fit all. If it is your church, make sure you show up on Sunday. If it is your study group, stay involved. If it is nature, schedule regular hikes. If it is a guided meditation, listen daily. You get the point.

Along the same lines, optimism, hope, faith, excitement, and confidence are also all positive emotions that can dramatically improve our ratios of positive to negative emotions. Happy anticipation, or excitement, is a particularly easy-to-access positive emotion: Plan something fun for next week or later this season, and then do something to build excitement. For example, if you are going to a sporting event or play with a friend, send your friend an “I’m so excited!” email, or let yourself read a review or article about the team or event. Studies show that positive anticipation can bring us as much or more pleasure than the actual event itself!


This post is from a series about flourishing from the “Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing LessWant to go on to the next class or start the course from the beginning? It’s free! Just go to The Science of Finding Flow course page. Enjoy!

Welcome to Unit 7: FLOURISH!

“What if I told you that you have a good deal of control over your emotions? Here’s how.”


This short video is from a series about flourishing from the “Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less. Want to go on to the next class or start the course from the beginning? It’s free! Just go to The Science of Finding Flow course page. Enjoy!

Need a Quick Hit of Happiness?

This quick video is about the some research-based low-hanging happiness fruit you can pick right now. 🙂

More low-hanging fruit: Watching amusing videos online. According to a study from the University of New South Wales, a little light humor might just be the ticket to boosting your productivity when your concentration starts to lag at work.

“A little light humor might just be the ticket to boosting your productivity…” Click To Tweet

Study participants were asked to complete two tedious tasks. The participants that watched a short but amusing video clip between boring assignments were able to concentrate twice as long on the second assignment than participants that watched neutral or positive (but not funny) video clips.

Similarly, looking at pictures of cute baby animals can boost your cognitive performance and, get this, fine-motor skills. Most relevant to our purposes here, in one study, participants who looked at pictures of cute baby animals (but not adult animals) “performed tasks requiring focused attention more carefully.”


This post is taken from “The Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less. I’m sharing “lessons” from this online class here, on my blog. Want to see previous posts? Just click this The Science of Finding Flow tag. Enjoy!

Should You Feel Happier More Often?

Research shows that “flourishing” people are happier and more resilient. These are the are high-functioning individuals who score well on things such as self-acceptance, purpose in life, environmental mastery, positive relationships with others, personal growth, creativity, and openness. (For more about Flourishing, see the last Science of Finding Flow post, The Positive Emotion Tipping Point.)

But flourishing is not about feeling happy all the time or about trying to turn every thought and emotion into a positive one. Our human brains are differential systems; our perception of good depends, in part, on our experience of bad. Like sailboats—to use Barbara Fredrickson’s metaphor— flourishing people move through life using both sail and keel. Positive emotions put wind in our sails, propelling us forward, giving us direction. Negative emotions are like the weighty keel below the waterline. They balance our boat and help give us direction, too.

Everything we do in life changes our brain in some way. As neuropsychologist Rick Hanson puts it in his book Hardwiring Happiness, “Whatever we repeatedly sense and feel and want and think is slowly but surely sculpting neural structure.” Day after day, our emotions shape our experiences and our brains.

“Happiness is a tremendous advantage in a world that values performance and achievement.” Click To Tweet

This is why more than two hundred studies show that positive emotions precede success in virtually every arena that has been tested. Happiness is a tremendous advantage in a world that values performance and achievement. On average, happy people are more successful than unhappy people at both work and love. They get better performance reviews, have more prestigious jobs, and earn higher salaries. They are more likely to get married and, once married, they are more satisfied with their marriages. Happy people also tend to be healthier and live longer. And guess what? Our ratio of positive to negative emotions—which determines whether or not we truly flourish—is largely within our control.

So how do we change our ratio?

The easiest way to change your ratio of positive to negative emotions is to add experiences and behaviors into your life that will make you feel the way you want to feel. So for starters: How do you want to feel?

Positive emotions come in a lot of different flavors. When we seek to increase the quantity of the positive emotions and experiences we have in a given day, we need to think beyond happiness or pleasure. Think about contentment, bliss, engagement, mirth, frivolity, silliness—these are all positive emotions based in the present. We can also cultivate positive emotions about the past (like gratitude) and the future (like faith, hope, confidence, and optimism). A flourishing life is also fed by positive emotions that are global in nature, like awe and elevation and inspiration. Positive emotions that connect us to other people, like love and compassion, are our most powerful positive emotions, and they are the most important ones for creating a better world and a flourishing life—so much so that all of the next unit is dedicated to love, connection, and compassion.

The next activity, “What Makes You Happy?” will give you scientifically sound ways to increase your ratio of positive to negative emotions.


This post is from a series about flourishing from the “Science of Finding Flow,” an online course I created as a companion to my book The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing LessWant to go on to the next class or start the course from the beginning? It’s free! Just go to The Science of Finding Flow course page. Enjoy!